D-day

D -day

It’s exam time in India. Reminds me of the feeling when my kids   have their assessments. It is somehow noticeable in the air. I wonder if scientists have done any research on the uneasy calm that hovers around the house.

It can be felt, it can be sensed, but can it be measured?! Maybe a unit like 'hawa tight/cubic metre?

The kids put on a brave front and the parents alternate between stressing the kids out and calming them. It's like some kind of interval training.

I still have nightmares about my exams and results .I am no Freud but i am quite certain that sitting for a math exam and suddenly unable to answer a single question is one of the most common dreams that people have.

The exams pass by like that but it's the D day which is a pressure cooker situation.
During my school days we received the report card by post, like some kind of letter bomb slid under the door.

Nowadays, my kids get their answer sheets before the report card and one can walk across to school and check the papers and meet the teachers.

On D day the kids are full of that nervous laughter like Kaalia in Sholay after Gabbar says "Teeno bach gaye?!"

As modern parents, we also troop to school along with the kids, constantly giving them assurances with the cliché "Don't worry, it’s only an exam. It’s not the end of the world".

The body language of the other kids and parents is interesting.

I usually wave at the kids whom I know and their response is animated with high fives, but not today. They are making that fateful march with their parents, their response is a muted nod, a hesitant raising of the eyebrow or even a ‘low five’ given with a slight movement of the palm below waist level. Their eyes have a blank stare at a point some 50 metres away and are devoid of any sparkle.

I, personally, don't like comparing my kids marks with others and am just keen that they put in an honest effort and be the best they can be, but I can gauge how the other kids have done by the CPI: the Child Parent Index.

 The kids who have done well trot about a step ahead of their parents and the parents are now waving at me. 

The kids who have done average are having a discussion and lumbering along with their parents in an animated conversation on how some subjects can be improved upon. They are too busy to notice you.

The kids who have not done well are dragging their feet a  few paces behind their parents and their parents are now having that blank but grim look on their faces. They  look back occasionally at the kid with the "Wait till we get home" stare. They are processing a ban list in their mind which start with odd letters like x,i ,w,v and t.
The kids look up from their desolate plod and catch my eye. They are almost pleading that I adopt them right away.

During that long walk back they have mixed feelings of guilt, anger, victimization, remorse and determination. If those feelings were to be put into words, it would look something like this "next time as if but then even Aditya I will do better its not all my fault how will not from syllabus banning help discourage all the time then how other parents so kind you always I promise ..."

But on a more serious note , I feel that we as parents should emphasize that trying, practicing and putting in effort is more important than marks. The resilience to dust yourself and get up and try again is what needs to be ingrained so that they are prepared for setbacks and can rebound from it. Shielding children from this can create a fragile sense of self –worth.

The ability to recover and build again, showing determination and a positive attitude is all we can prepare our children for the many D days ahead.