Birthday time!

Birthday time!

My birthday came and went. By now, I have seen many come and go!
The feeling I have had on this day has changed over time.

My kids asked me what gift I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't think of anything. I stared out of the window and looked back at my journey...

When I was a kid, it meant that I get to wear 'coloured' clothes to school and distribute toffees to my classmates and then have a party at home for my friends in the building. A new set of clothes was a must, with a spot of turmeric applied to the collar, which apparently augurs for more clothes to come! 

The unknown factor was always my 'star birthday' which is my birthday as per the Hindu calendar. I never had an idea when that fell, but was always pleasantly surprised to see my mom and granny churning out my favourite 'Pal Kova' which is a sweet made from milk. Then lining up to seek the blessings of the elders in the house, of which there were many. They left with time, but their blessings stayed back.

During my teens, it was a day out with my friends. Movie, an ice cream treat and maybe watching the Roland Garros final together. I was crazy about sports shoes and gear then. I knew the brand of the shoes and gear endorsed by every tennis and cricket player. In fact, there was this very educative and informative magazine called 'Debonair' which once had a quiz. They showed pictures of the legs of female tennis players taken while serving. These were shot from a camera which was aesthetically placed behind them at court level...! Uhm, I swear I got all correct, only because I knew what shoes Chris Evert, Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini and Carling Bassett wore!

It wasn't easy to afford fancy gear in those days. My dad had an industrialist friend who was a regular tennis player. I told him that I am struggling with my serve. He advised that all i needed to do was to take a bucket full of tennis balls and keep hitting serves! Back then, to afford a bucket full of tennis balls was unimaginable. We used to pelt the felt of one measly ball till it cried for mercy! 

Then for some years I was alone. So, many birthdays meant phone calls from the family and birthday cards received by post from old friends who never forgot to wish me. To receive a card or letter and guess the sender just by the handwriting was a special feeling. 

Thankfully I have not had any of those ‘surprise’ parties although it is a common phenomenon. You know the kind where your spouse suddenly starts behaving strangely. Unusual trips out of the house, whispering on the phone and disconnecting when you enter the room. You wonder if it’s an affair and then realize that it’s nothing but a surprise party being planned…again. You get home from work and you are greeted by all your friends who scream “Happy birthday!” You then act surprised because you don’t want to hurt them. They then proceed to grill you if you had any clue. You lie that you didn’t have the faintest idea. You spend the rest of the evening watching your spouse and the co conspirators discussing all the close shaves they had and giving hi fives to one another on how successfully they pulled it off!

Wishing for gifts or even wanting to buy something for myself is no longer a craze.
In one of my many bizarre assignments in my career, I once had to accompany a wealthy socialite on her shopping spree. She bought everything from designer bags with silly initials to a Mahatma Gandhi limited edition pen with a snow capped French mountain as its logo. Quite frankly, a gel pen from my daughter's pencil box writes better. The irony that a simple man with great values was being used as a marketing gimmick to sell a pen which will probably be used by someone who is neither simple nor great put me off completely. Instead of looking at it as ‘A fine writing instrument' and a status symbol, it became a stark reminder of the unfortunate death of Dr Homi Bhabha. 

At the end of the shopping ordeal, the lady, who was quite impressed by my ability to act as a translator, guide and efficient shopping bag carrier, asked me to pick any gift for myself. I told her "there is nothing in this mall that I need". The stunned expression on her face was priceless. 

There was a phase when I aspired for a Swiss watch and am still fascinated by watches, but this defining moment with the lady made me feel almost nauseous towards acquiring stuff. 

Expensive  cars advertise that owning that car shows that you have 'arrived', but I know by now that you have truly arrived only when you have managed to beat the traffic and get home in time to tuck your kids to bed. 

So if there is something I wish for on my birthday, it is time. Time to spend the day with my family.  Time to savour all the phone calls and wishes from friends whom I have known all my life. Time to reflect on all the memories of the family who are not with me but made me what I am today.

And about the Swiss watch...well, I have a watch gifted by my Granny 20 years ago which not only shows good time but also reminds me of good times…