Same same but different...

 

Same same but different…

Pop quiz!

What do Biju Patnaik, Tintin and me have in common?

Well, the answer is Indonesia.

Biju Patnaik was close to Indonesia’s first President, Sukarno and has played an important role in their Independence. He also suggested the name Megawati for Sukarno’s daughter.

Tintin in the book ‘Flight 714’ lands in Jakarta (spelt Djakarta back then)

And then there is me, who has spent the majority of my life here.

I had to use this as Clickbait so that you can continue reading in these times of attention deficit!

Some of you might be living in Indonesia or would have heard or read about this country.

Growing up in India, I only knew as much as what I was taught in school about Jawa, Sumatra, and Borneo in the Geography class (or was it History?) I do not quite recollect as I was too busy sitting in the back, making a Dream World Test IX with my bench buddy. Yes, you read it right. Test IX and not XI, because in my mind, Gavaskar opening the batting with me was obvious!

Nowadays, with easy access to information, many would know far more than what I did about Indonesia.

There have been many articles written on the close political ties between the two nonaligned countries who gained independence around the same time with stories of Nehru and Sukarno sharing the fondness for cigarettes and other hot and slender interests…

Also on the Bahasa language with its roots in Sanskrit with puerile jokes on how milk is referred to as ‘Susu’, promptly followed by grownups giggling like Grade 6 children on a joke about poop. Some further elaborate stating that in Bahasa, C is pronounced as Ch but I will end that here and just ‘Cut ya’.

There is a lot covered on the visible influence of Hindu culture in a predominantly Muslim country. Hindu Gods, Ramayana and Mahabharata are seen depicted in dances, statues, bank notes and even names. Coming across someone with names like Yudhishtra, Bheema, Arjuna or Aditya is quite common. More on that later…

Suffice to say that India and Indonesia share a lot of similarities. The people are warm, polite and friendly. This trait can be found in India as well as many other countries.

Here is what I found different, which I feel, is very distinctive amongst Indonesians. I have come across instances where I sense that they exemplify the teachings of The Gita, albeit unknowingly. There is a certain Zen like wisdom, stoicism and stillness in their minds and approach which is difficult to elucidate.

I will, however, attempt to illustrate this through some of my experiences.

Many years ago, I lost my temper due to a careless mistake by one of my staff at work which caused losses. The person was honest enough to accept the blunder and also apologized. I was furious and screaming when suddenly he raised his hand as said calmly “Stop shouting. I have made a mistake and I am genuinely sorry.” I continued saying “This is a very costly mistake” and he softly said “We all make mistakes. Haven’t you? It is just that mine turned out to be a costly one. If you don’t like my work then fire me but stop screaming.” I was momentarily stunned and speechless and then thought to myself that this is someone who is sincere and genuinely sorry about his mistake and neither shouting nor firing him will solve anything. So I just went about finding solutions to the problem and he continued as an honest and more diligent worker for years to come! It was a lesson on anger management and logical thinking!

Some of their habits and mannerisms can be a direct contrast to our culture or social conditioning but understanding their intentions takes some level of open minded ness.

I was working in a factory where some of my colleagues would drop by at my desk from the shop floor for a tea break. They would then place their specific requests like strong, milk, no sugar, less sugar etc. to the office boy. He would always ask for feedback and take great pride when he got it spot on which he often did. One day, I happened to pass the pantry when he was preparing the tea and he didn’t notice that I was there. I could hear him mumbling to himself on the specifications of each request and also saw him dipping a spoon in each cup and tasting it and exclaiming “Ah, perfect! Just the way he likes it!”

Well, this rather unhygienic method of ‘quality tasting’ isn’t everybody’s cup of tea but the purpose behind it was sincere and pure, a lot like Shabari from the Ramayana.

I was once driving past one of the poshest areas of Jakarta lined with magnificent mansions. I remarked to the taxi driver that these must me belonging to the ultra-rich. He replied “These belong to people with a lot of difficulties…” Noticing the perplexed look on my face he clarified with a wry smile “Difficulties sleeping”! Those words were laced with dry wit, simple acceptance and a sense of gratitude.

Another instance was when I was waiting for the elevator at my apartment lobby. There was an old lady who was working as a domestic help also waiting beside me. She was muttering under her breath “This lift is so slow and it is taking too long” The moment she got in, she wondered aloud “Did the lift take long or did  it seem long because I was impatient and in a hurry?”

This honest introspection from a person who was probably uneducated revealed so much to me about their innate thoughtfulness.

Indonesians also have the unique talent to infuriate you and yet placate you at the same time.

Some years back, my bag got stolen from my car. It had some money, headphones, my kindle and most importantly, my passport. I immediately went to the nearby police station to file a report with the hope that they can help find my bag. The elderly policeman politely enquired and took down my complaint and the details. At the end, when I was hoping that he will assure me that he will investigate and nab the thief, he calmly handed me a copy of the report, patted me on my shoulder and said “I pray to God that he bestows you with immeasurably more wealth than what you have lost in the bag”!

I left the station with a piece of paper, warm blessings and mixed feelings!

The Indonesians seem to have this acceptance about what they can’t control like handling the worst traffic with saintly serenity.

Even the way they cope with grief is astounding. I visited a home to pay condolences to the family of one of my young colleagues who had passed away tragically.  I was speechless and heartbroken to see his widowed wife and little children. I summoned up the courage to go shake her hand and she said softly “My husband passed away suddenly so if he has said or done anything to hurt you then I apologize on his behalf”

This is part of the culture but to muster the strength to repeat this to every person who visited is not only unimaginable but also extremely humbling.

Something about the way they look at life is intriguing. We were holidaying in Bali. We were in the car with our regular driver when we suddenly felt a strong jolt and heard a loud thud and that dreaded metallic clatter. Our car had been hit from behind, firmly albeit at a low speed.

Our driver didn’t even stop to look at the damage and continued taking us to our destination. Puzzled, I told him to stop and have a look. He replied “What has happened can’t be undone. I will fix it later. You are my guests and I am not going to let this incident ruin your day. It is my duty to ensure that you have a great time on your holiday.”

Oh ya! About the names…his name was Dharma.

 

 

 

Sholay...the creative fire!

Sholay…the creative fire!

Sholay was released on Independence Day in 1975!  In my opinion, Sholay was the 'Gavaskar of Indian Cinema.' I mean, there were some fine players before Sunny and there have many record breaking players after him, but Indian Cricket will always be divided into two eras, Before Gavaskar and After Gavaskar.

Similarly, there were some beautiful movies before Sholay and many blockbusters after that, but nothing created the same impact as Sholay did. 

For the millennials or those who have just crept out from under a rock, Sholay went on to earn a record of 60 golden jubilees across India, and was the first film in India to celebrate a silver jubilee at over 100 theatres. It was shown continuously at Mumbai's Minerva theatre for over five years! The movie had a powerful star cast and the impressive debut of Amjad Khan as Gabbar Singh, but the biggest credit must go to the dialogues penned by Salim-Javed. They even released a sound track with the dialogues which set new record sales.

I was wondering whether Salim-Javed could have written such a script in today’s times of political correctness and sensitivity towards anything offensive.

I started recollecting some the famous scenes and dialogues.

To start with PETA would have objected to the use of horses in the entire movie (and the squashing of the ant by Gabbar!)

The LGBT community would have protested that the dialogue “Suno,Thakur ne hijron ki fauj banayi hai” is showing eunuchs as weak.

The famous dialogue “Tera kya hoga , Kaalia?” would be seen as racist. So maybe that would be changed to a more euphemistic “Tera kya hoga, uhm, Shyam?”

Salim –Javed’s property would be vandalized by zealots because of the scene showing Veeru impersonating Lord Shiva, when he plays a prank on Basanthi in the temple.

On the other hand, ‘A certain minority community’ would protest that Gabbar Singh killing Ahmed signifies victimization, so they would demand that the scene be cut or his name is changed.

The Committee Representing Acting Professionals (CRAP) would complain that Sambha has only one line in the entire film “Poore pachas hazaar”. They would insist that his dialogue should be changed to a more meaty “Poore pachas hazaar, actually not poore, because income tax will be deducted and this reward can be claimed only if you show your Aadhar card”

The hilarious comedy scene between Jai and Mausi ,where Jai goes with Veeru's marriage proposal, would have to be cut as it reflects a patriarchal mindset because  Mausi refers to Basanthi as “Seene pe patthar” and “bhoj”.

The Global warming NGO brigade would protest against wasting water during the Holi song and using Coal in the Train sequence...the list goes on!

If the film were to be made today, then Salim Javed would feel more handicapped than Thakur !(oops, or should I say physically challenged)

In this era of political correctness, when everyone finds everything offensive, the freedom of speech, opinion and creativity seem severely compromised.

Not just in film making, but one can also see this permeating into books, interviews or cartoons.

I also get to hear that it is a 'social responsibility' to make films which send a relevant message. All I have to say is that if someone chooses to make such a film, then good on them, but they are not obliged to do so.

If some people find a film offensive, then they don't have to watch it or can even start a peaceful campaign to boycott it.

In my useless opinion, which might fall on hearing impaired ears, the right to free speech, creativity and opinion should be a fundamental right, even if one may not agree with that view.

This is aptly summed up in the quote “"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”.

A voice inside me asked “Mei zyada to nahin bol gaya?” but I felt “Partner, ab bol hi diya hai to dekh lenge!”

Our National sport...

Our National sport…

Forget Hockey, our national sport is ‘Armchair Cricket’. It is clearly the most popular sport by a huge margin. Everyone thinks that they are experts.

There are many categories in the followers of this sport…

Nostradamus: He specializes in making bold predictions of which team is going to win or lose or which player will do well or fail. Anyone with a basic knowledge of probability knows that this person is likely to be right half the time. On such occasions he leans back triumphantly and says “Mei na kehta tha…”

The Accountant: He knows exactly how much each player is worth. He also has this theory that the effort will be inversely proportion to the wealth. Example: “Arrey, he is worth over 200 crores, why would he want to score?”

The Mind reader: He has special powers in reading the player’s mind. Example:”He is thinking of Anushka. That’s why he isn’t concentrating”.

The Bhakt: He only follows Indian Cricket and its players. I once asked a Bhakt “Do you know how good Amla is?” He replied confidently “Of course, it is full of Vitamin C.  My grandmother makes pickles from it every summer.” He even shoved my face into his hair and screamed “I even use the oil, can you smell it?”

The online joker: He is the first to share all the latest memes and jokes on what’s app.

The cynic: For him every match is fixed. His reaction to every wicket or dropped catch is “I am telling you, solid money he has eaten”. He won’t think for a second that this sentence is neither factually nor grammatically correct. The irony is that he is the same chap who was disappointed that his favorite contestant in the latest reality show lost in the final and now can’t fulfill his dream of finding a cure for cancer while building a school for the poor.

The politician: He knows about all the rifts in the Indian dressing room and  the conspiracies that are being plotted in the corridors of power.

The jingoistic patriot: For him, every game is a war. (And war is probably a game)It is all about winning for Kargil, or seeking revenge for the Jalianwala Bagh massacre.

The Earth day supporter: “I switch the TV off when Sachin gets out”. While humanity will thank them for being so environment friendly, I tell them “Hmm, maybe you should watch the Calcutta Test or the World Cup final of 2011. Pity you missed those games…’

The scapegoat finder: His task is to find one player to blame the loss on within seconds of the game ending.

The list goes on…

We are all guilty of donning these hats sometime or the other.

I feel that this behavior is more a manifestation of our own insecurities, frustrations, jealousies and mindset, than a reflection of the team’s performance.

In all this, take a moment to ponder that there is this totally different game called Cricket. It isn’t played in living rooms but on a ground. The ball is hard and fast. It seams and swings. It hurts and stings.

The batsman has less than a second to react. 5.5 ounces of leather and cork is whizzing towards you and you have to decide whether to go forward or back, drive, defend, cut, leave or duck. All while keeping a mental map of where the fielders are placed. One mistake and you are back in the pavilion or worse still, in the hospital. There is no other sport that is so unforgiving.

The same goes for a bowler who is trying hard to outwit the batsman or a fielder trying to catch a ball which is swirling down from the sky. It is a physical, mental and psychological battle with pitch conditions and pressure of expectations adding to the intrigue. It is a team game where all eleven have a role to play.

It is known as a game of glorious uncertainties and like all sports, it is all about a contest. Teams win and lose. There are no guarantees. To not gloat over wins and be gracious in defeat is what sport teaches you.

“If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two impostors just the same…Yours is the world and everything that is in it, And- which is more- you will be a Man, my son!”

Ideal idol...

Ideal Idol…

I have had many idols and heroes while growing up. I was a big fan of Phantom, Mandrake and Superman, but I realized quite early that not all heroes wear capes (or their underwear on the outside for that matter!)So most of them were sportsmen, as I was fond of sports and they made the biggest impression on me.

Prakash Padukone was one of my favorites and I keenly followed his career. Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I had to be content with newspaper clippings and sports magazine articles about his exploits. In an era, with no facilities or coaching, winning The All England and dominating the likes of Liem Swie King, Han Jian and Morten Frost was stuff that legends were made of. He was, undoubtedly, a pioneer who put India on the World Badminton map. I have admired his achievements and conduct on and off the court.

So when I planned to visit Bangalore some months back, I decided to try and meet him. He was gracious enough to give me his time. He was punctual, friendly, humble and courteous. I had a fascinating conversation for more than half an hour about his journey and sports. I am sure that he doesn’t meet many people nowadays who speak about his Badminton for 30 minutes and about his daughter for only 1 minute!

Suffice to say that it was a memorable meeting and he only reiterated my impression that he was a class act then and he is a class act now.

When I was a teenager I began aping the extremely talented John McEnroe and I thought that it was ok to behave badly on the court. If you want to know the truth, I had all his tantrums and none of his talent! There was also this notion that if you want to win, then you need to be like that. Then I saw Edberg, Sampras and now, Federer, who showed that you can win without being a jerk. Looking back, I feel that his behavior and mine was unnecessary and unacceptable.

We all admire people for various qualities, skills and achievements. Words like Fan, idol and Hero are often used. Amongst this list of achievers whom one looks up to and maybe even try and emulate; the term ‘Role Model’ stands out. I feel it is important for us to distinguish the difference. There is only a select group of people who can earn this honour. This is achieved only by leading a life of integrity and character. As C.S.Lewis said “Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.”

In my opinion, all heroes and role models don’t necessarily have to be perfect. After all, we all have our flaws and expecting someone to be perfect can be unreasonable.

A role model doesn’t necessarily have to be squeaky clean. There are people who have been brutally honest about their mistakes and have, since, led lives which inspire others. The name of Andre Agassi comes to my mind.

I also tend to have a bias towards self-made achievers. Role models don’t necessarily have to be celebrities. They can even be the common man who has made the most of the cards that he has been dealt with. One can admire people who go about their life with dignity and just try to be the best that they can be.

It is even more critical that we guide our children to choose the right role models.

Ideally, one should try and be a role model to your kids, but given that they tend to get influenced by various personalities, it becomes important that they get influenced by the right people, for the correct qualities and values.

In today’s world, success is often measured by the bank balance. A well oiled PR team works overtime in building a certain persona of the celebrity. It is imperative that we learn to read between the lines and understand that image is not everything.

Role models play a role in our lives and help mould our character. I often use an example of a sportsman or a famous person when I need to explain something to my children or simply inspire them. We need to tell our kids stories of people who faced challenges, how they overcame them, how they picked themselves up and persevered after failures and most importantly, how they conducted themselves as human beings.

My favorite line for my kids and everyone out there is “When life throws you a Rahul , make it a Dravid, not a Gandhi!”

Love Aajkal...

Love Aajkal…

Love is in the air! You can see it everywhere.

 The Malls are filled with ‘dil-shaped’ balloons and chocolate boxes. There is a whole industry banking on this hoopla and thriving on the emotional blackmail that if you love someone then you have to gift and treat them. Couples are bonded over 50 shades of Pink!

Love has always been there and I suppose the methods, props and cupids change with time and technology. 

Growing up in Bombay, I went to an all boy’s school. There was no other option except for crushing over the History teacher.
 Consequently, we religiously followed the commandment “Love thy neighbor”. Your friend’s sister or your sister’s friend was the easiest to access. For any other girl, you needed an ‘intro’ through a cupid. Cupids didn’t always mean a person who acts as a messenger.  Lending and borrowing books and comics have started many a romance on staircases. For every Archie, there was a Reggie competing as well! Little handwritten letters and dried flowers were priceless gifts which were treasured. I wonder how the young fall in love and romance these days in the age of Facebook, What’s app and emojis? Do they tuck an SMS under their pillow? Do e mails have a fragrance?

In college, buses acted as the, well, ‘BEST’ cupid!
 The girl is surprised to see a boy from her class. What she doesn’t know is that this coincidence has come after one month of meticulous stalking.
 Our man has followed her to Worli Naka. He has spent 32 rupees on 32 prank calls from a public phone to all the Kulkarnis that he found in the telephone directory that lived in that area.
 After skipping five 165 buses, he boards the 90 ltd and says “Oh Hi!” Our knight in shining polyester  gallantly tells the conductor “Do Dadar TT. Unse mat lena”. In his mind, he has said the lines with the same panache as “Two Vodka Martinis, shaken not stirred”. Her response of “What ya? You didn’t have to na?” is music to his ears. That evening Raja More and his sidekick Q dissect, decrypt and decipher the word ‘na’ to analyze whether the use of that word means that she loves him or does na just mean not available!

Having a girlfriend or going steady was as important as seeking the approval of his buddies. When a guy said that his girlfriend has a ‘good nature’ the rest of the buddies would immediately conclude that she wasn’t good looking!

Romance, love and feelings have been the central topic of many films. Movies also evolve to portray the times we live in. There was this film recently which depicted a successful painter in love with an unsuccessful poet, who in turn lusts for a younger wannabe singer who loves a confused, free- spirited bohemian girl who loves an unfaithful DJ. The plot thickens (and I don’t lisp) when the singer loves the girl but she ‘friend zones’ him!
 Now, this is a term I learnt recently from my teenage kids. Friend zone is when she trusts you, cares for you, is protective of you and loves you but doesn’t love you ‘in that way’. I think the term for this in the 70s and 80s was ‘Rakhi brother’!

I am not a big fan of these ‘days’ which I feel are over hyped and also because almost every day of the year is some day or the other. Mother’s day, Father’s day, Children’s day…I don’t even know when they fall. I think Children’s day is some 9 months after Father’s day!

But then again, I am changing my mind. After all, it’s all about spreading and celebrating love and that can’t be such a bad thing in today’s world. The only massacre that happens on this day is of the English language, when  the guy suddenly turns into a poet  and Billy boy tries to get his words worth .

There are so many different kinds of love and relationships which people experience and share. It is human tendency to put everything in boxes and give it a name. I think that it is best left as it is and to be felt.

As Gulzar summed it up ever so beautifully “…sirf ehsaas hai ye, ruh se mehsoos karo, pyar ko pyar hi rehne do, koi naam na do”.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you lovely people!

Proud to be an Indian...

Proud to be an Indian…

It is that time of the year. Independence Day celebrations all over India and among the Indian diaspora(Ah, finally I get to use this word!) the world over.

I have been living overseas for the past 25 years, which is effectively more than half my life. I have often pondered whether my feelings towards India are any different from those living in India. Am I any less patriotic? Am I even a traitor who has ‘deserted’ the country for greener pastures (greener bucks as some would accuse)

There have been occasions when I have been in  discussions with  people in India and, in response to something, they said, “Hullo?! Easy for you to talk. You don’t even live here”. Have i lost that right because I don’t live there? What does India and patriotism mean to me?

I am an old fashioned boy scout at heart. I always make it a point to go to the Embassy for the Independence and Republic day celebrations. I still get goose bumps when I salute the ol’ Tiranga and sing the National Anthem after the flag is unfurled. Yes, unfurled. The Boy Scout in me always makes it a point to tell everyone that in India it is not a ‘flag hoisting ceremony’ because the flag is already hoisted and up there in a bundle, rose petals and all. And one tug ‘unfurls it’.

The President’s address to the nation, the cultural programmes, the patriotic songs performed by school kids and the samosas and gulab jamuns are only secondary. It’s always about the salute and the 52 seconds after that which are most important for me. 

The question which I ask myself is “Is that it? Have I done my bit for my country?”

 I come across all kinds of desis living abroad. There is always this desi who criticizes everything about India and that makes me think “this guy was born and brought up in India and now all he can see are the negatives?’ And then there are these desis who find fault with everything in their adopted country and start every sentence with “Yahan to.. lekin India me kitna mast…” I feel like telling them “Then why don’t you just pack and leave?” 

The tough part is to find people who have an open mind with balanced views. 

We often discuss news and events from India and react to it.

A dedicated girl from Haryana becomes World No1 in Badminton and we immediately feel proud. The next day some madman does an honour killing in the same state and we feel shame. We read about a soldier who fought bravely and we feel proud. We read about a rape and we feel shame. These are events that we have no role to play and yet it fills us with pride or shame. Our Facebook or what’s app picture alternates between an Indian Flag and a black dot. 

I often contemplate along these lines...

“I’m not ashamed to have been born in India. I am not proud to have been born in India. Pride & shame are for actions in which I had a choice.”

I found this thought  to be very logical & intriguing.

How often do we feel pride and shame on events that we have no control over?

So, as an Indian, I wonder what I can do for my country. I am no soldier nor am I doing something that directly benefits the people of India. In a larger sense, India or any country is just a pre determined geographical boundary (again an event i had no choice over). If I am an Indian by birth, then it is again an event that I had no choice! But irrespective of that fact, India is in my DNA!

Maybe I will do something for India later or maybe I won’t. As of now, all I can do is be a good ambassador of my country abroad. There are various negative perceptions about India and Indians which I am sure many would have encountered. That viewpoint, however, is fast changing.

If each of us, through our conduct, behavior and deeds can help improve the image of our country in a small way, then I  feel that we have done our bit for India!

Jai Hind!

Birthday time!

Birthday time!

My birthday came and went. By now, I have seen many come and go!
The feeling I have had on this day has changed over time.

My kids asked me what gift I wanted for my birthday and I couldn't think of anything. I stared out of the window and looked back at my journey...

When I was a kid, it meant that I get to wear 'coloured' clothes to school and distribute toffees to my classmates and then have a party at home for my friends in the building. A new set of clothes was a must, with a spot of turmeric applied to the collar, which apparently augurs for more clothes to come! 

The unknown factor was always my 'star birthday' which is my birthday as per the Hindu calendar. I never had an idea when that fell, but was always pleasantly surprised to see my mom and granny churning out my favourite 'Pal Kova' which is a sweet made from milk. Then lining up to seek the blessings of the elders in the house, of which there were many. They left with time, but their blessings stayed back.

During my teens, it was a day out with my friends. Movie, an ice cream treat and maybe watching the Roland Garros final together. I was crazy about sports shoes and gear then. I knew the brand of the shoes and gear endorsed by every tennis and cricket player. In fact, there was this very educative and informative magazine called 'Debonair' which once had a quiz. They showed pictures of the legs of female tennis players taken while serving. These were shot from a camera which was aesthetically placed behind them at court level...! Uhm, I swear I got all correct, only because I knew what shoes Chris Evert, Steffi Graf, Gabriela Sabatini and Carling Bassett wore!

It wasn't easy to afford fancy gear in those days. My dad had an industrialist friend who was a regular tennis player. I told him that I am struggling with my serve. He advised that all i needed to do was to take a bucket full of tennis balls and keep hitting serves! Back then, to afford a bucket full of tennis balls was unimaginable. We used to pelt the felt of one measly ball till it cried for mercy! 

Then for some years I was alone. So, many birthdays meant phone calls from the family and birthday cards received by post from old friends who never forgot to wish me. To receive a card or letter and guess the sender just by the handwriting was a special feeling. 

Thankfully I have not had any of those ‘surprise’ parties although it is a common phenomenon. You know the kind where your spouse suddenly starts behaving strangely. Unusual trips out of the house, whispering on the phone and disconnecting when you enter the room. You wonder if it’s an affair and then realize that it’s nothing but a surprise party being planned…again. You get home from work and you are greeted by all your friends who scream “Happy birthday!” You then act surprised because you don’t want to hurt them. They then proceed to grill you if you had any clue. You lie that you didn’t have the faintest idea. You spend the rest of the evening watching your spouse and the co conspirators discussing all the close shaves they had and giving hi fives to one another on how successfully they pulled it off!

Wishing for gifts or even wanting to buy something for myself is no longer a craze.
In one of my many bizarre assignments in my career, I once had to accompany a wealthy socialite on her shopping spree. She bought everything from designer bags with silly initials to a Mahatma Gandhi limited edition pen with a snow capped French mountain as its logo. Quite frankly, a gel pen from my daughter's pencil box writes better. The irony that a simple man with great values was being used as a marketing gimmick to sell a pen which will probably be used by someone who is neither simple nor great put me off completely. Instead of looking at it as ‘A fine writing instrument' and a status symbol, it became a stark reminder of the unfortunate death of Dr Homi Bhabha. 

At the end of the shopping ordeal, the lady, who was quite impressed by my ability to act as a translator, guide and efficient shopping bag carrier, asked me to pick any gift for myself. I told her "there is nothing in this mall that I need". The stunned expression on her face was priceless. 

There was a phase when I aspired for a Swiss watch and am still fascinated by watches, but this defining moment with the lady made me feel almost nauseous towards acquiring stuff. 

Expensive  cars advertise that owning that car shows that you have 'arrived', but I know by now that you have truly arrived only when you have managed to beat the traffic and get home in time to tuck your kids to bed. 

So if there is something I wish for on my birthday, it is time. Time to spend the day with my family.  Time to savour all the phone calls and wishes from friends whom I have known all my life. Time to reflect on all the memories of the family who are not with me but made me what I am today.

And about the Swiss watch...well, I have a watch gifted by my Granny 20 years ago which not only shows good time but also reminds me of good times…